004. Lost – ‘Regret’

Title: Regret
Genre: Paranormal/Horror
Characters: Octavian Bathurst, Father Louis Jacobs
Story Origin: Untitled, Codenamed ‘Octavian’
Prompt: 004. Lost
Word Count: 617
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Father Jacobs loses his faith.
Warnings: Religious things, swearing

Father Jacobs exhaled, the scent of alcohol mixing unpleasantly with the musty air of the room. He felt the heaviness of his mind, his soul. The gaping hole left by his forgotten faith. Absently, he glanced at his hands, his fingers flexing and folding inward, shaking from his body’s state of inebriation.

He could feel the weight of Octavian’s eyes, though he did not rise to meet them. He remained slumped over in his chair, contemplating his twisted life. He was a priest of the church and had been since he had turned twenty… and yet he felt nothing. No soothing presence, no soft comfort, no pleasant calm–only resounding hopelessness. He was a shell, a husk.

Suddenly, Father Jacobs shot out of his chair. He stumbled and nearly fell against the plush carpeting. His fingers clawed angrily at his hair and his lips parted as a moue of sadness and regret escaped. Octavian stood cautiously off to the side, watching the sad display play out before him.

“Father,” he began carefully, “you need to stay away from the wine.”

At this, the father laughed, “even with his blood in my veins, I cannot hear his voice! I hear nothing, nothing but the dull resonance of sin and deceit. God save me, I am a failure!”

“Can you hear it, Octavian? The voice of God? Does he whisper in your ear before you suck the very life out of someone?” Father Jacobs’ voice was frantic now, his eyes wide and darting around the room, unable to focus. “God has abandoned me, but surely there is someone who can hear him!”

“Father,” Octavian said plaintively, “you should sit. You’re going to fall.”

“His lost sheep, he’s supposed to guide them,” he continued babbling, spinning around and facing Octavian. He took hold of his collar and shook him. “Hail Mary, I’ve said, over and over again… and yet, my sins are not forgiven. Nothing is ever forgiven!”

“Father, please,” Octavian sighed, removing the father’s hands easily. “You really need to sober up.”

Slowly, Father Jacobs’ hand moved towards his face. He closed his eyes and groaned, “why, Octavian? So that I can help you and further my descent into Hell?”

The vampire shook his head, but did not speak. It was strange to feel pity for someone else, but for once, Octavian did. This was a man defeated, a man lost and blind.

“Perhaps I am already there and this is all just a torturous vision.”

“If that is true, what can another sin hurt? To be in Hell is to embrace your ridiculous fate!” He laughed, but stopped quickly, his hand moving to his neck. His fingers dug into the sensitive skin, though he felt no pain. “I wish, I wish I could blame every sin on you, vampire. But I cannot. I’ve sinned since I knew how and yet I took the cloth.”

“I can come back,” Octavian replied, moving towards the door.

“No, stay,” The Father said, his voice firm. “I’ll give you what you came for.”

“God may yet redeem me if I help you,” Father Jacobs said somberly, looking off towards the cross on the wall. “Perhaps you are the one who will release me from my sins, vampire. Helping you is the only good thing I’ve ever done.”

“Father–”

“No, shut up. Don’t speak. Just listen.” Father Jacobs closed his eyes and took a steady breath. “There was an exorcism at the Janos house. Go there–I am certain that it did not succeed–you may yet find someone who can aid you.”

“Thank–”

“Shut up and do what you must,” the father replied tersely. “And don’t forget your Hail Marys.”

Note from Mao: I had to make my own little priest outfit.  I just recolored the collar of the one formal outfit from Glamor Life Stuff.

Tags: ,

3 Responses to “004. Lost – ‘Regret’”

  1. anghard says:

    Oooooh how wonderfully interesting. Father Jacobs is so tormented, almost to the point of desperation. Octavian in comparison is quite calm and tolerating of this little episode.

    Fantastic look into another one of your worlds.

    Thanks! Octavian has actually appeared before in the vampire contest over at GoS. You can see the entries on my blog here, just to bring you up to speed.

  2. goodbye_sun says:

    Nice reversal of roles here with Father Jacobs being the one lingering on the edge of losing his faith and Octavian being the one providing calming advice and even making him feel pity.

    Are you going to be doing one offs or shall we be seeing more of Octavian?

    For the moment, I’ve planned to do a random smattering of everything. You will definitely see more of Octavian, though. But there won’t be any chronology in those entries. Just random vignettes from the drafted story I have for him.

  3. ruby says:

    wow.. i want to know what the heck Father Jacobs did to feel such remorse and pain and he’s so tormented and it wasn’t Octavian’s fault … ooh this was intriguing!

    This probably doesn’t make sense because it’s tied to my vampire contest. x_x

Leave a Reply